1996 Fools: BARBIE RITES L1KE BIFF!!!
From owner-meditation@xxx.edu Fri Apr 19 06:32:25 1996
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Date: Fri, 19 Apr 1996 12:11:24 +0100
To: meditation@xxx.edu
From: Nicolas Pioch <xxx@xxx.com>
Subject: BARBIE RITES L1KE BIFF!!!
Status: OR

 NEW BARBIE! (LA, California)
 
 Mattel announces their new line of Barbie products, the "Hacker Barbie."
 These new dolls will be released next month. The aim of these dolls is to
 negate the stereotype that women are numerophobic, computer-illiterate, and
 academically challenged. This new line of Barbie dolls comes equipped with
 Barbie's very own X-terminal and UNIX documentation as well as ORA's "In a
 Nutshell" series.
 
 The Barbie clothing includes a dirty button-up shirt and a pair of
 well-worn jeans. Accessories include a Casio all-purpose watch, and glasses
 with lenses thick enough to set ants on fire. (Pocket protectors and HP
 calculators optional.)
 
 The new Barbie has the incredible ability to stare at the screen without
 blinking her eyes and to go without eating or drinking for 16 hours
 straight. Her vocabulary mainly consists of technical terms such as "What's
 your Internet address?", "I like TCP/IP!", "Bummer! Your kernel must have
 gotten trashed," "Can't you grep that file?", and "DEC's Alpha AXP is
 awesome!"
 
 "We are very excited about this product," said Ken Olsen, Marketing
 Executive, "and we hope that the Hacker Barbie will offset the damage
 incurred by the mathophobic Barbie." (A year ago, Mattel released Barbie
 dolls that say, "Math is hard," with a condescending companion Ken.) The
 Hacker Barbie's Ken is an incompetent management consultant who frequently
 asks Barbie for help.
 
 The leading feminists are equally excited about this new line of Barbie
 dolls. Naomi Falodji says, "I believe that these new dolls will finally
 terminate the notion that women are inherently inferior when it comes to
 mathematics and the sciences. However, I feel that Ken's hierarchical
 superiority would simply reinforce the patriarchy and oppress the masses."
 Mattel made no comment.
 
 Parents, however, are worried that they will fall behind the children
 technologically when the Hacker Barbie comes out. "My daughter Jenny plays
 with the prototype Hacker Barbie for two days," says Mrs. Mary Carlson of
 rural Oxford, Mississippi, "and now she pays my credit card bill online.
 Got no idea how she does it, but she surely does it. I just don't wanna be
 looked upon as some dumb mama." Mattel will be offering free training
 courses for those who purchase the Hacker Barbie.
 
 The future Hacker Barbie will include several variations to deal with the
 complex aspects of Barbie. "Hacker Barbie Goes to Jail" will teach computer
 ethics to youngsters, while "BARBIE RITES L1KE BIFF!!!" will serve as an
 introduction to expository writing.



A message to the readers from the poster:

Scarey how these things, posted sooo long ago, stick around, eh?

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